"Cadet"? "Constructionist"? What could he possibly mean?

“I say ‘cat’. I originally used another word starting with c and ending with t, but the Guardian asked me to change it,” writes Charlie Brooker, in a column that’s only nominally about the upcoming referendum on England’s voting system.

Bonus, from the same article: if Brian Cox can’t understand the Duckworth-Lewis method (the particle physicist Brian Cox, not the Brian Cox who played keyboards on D:Ream’s one-hit wonder Things Can Only Get Better… wait, what?), what hope is there for the rest of us?