I came here to drive fast and chew gum, and... oh.

BMW had a full-page ad in yesterday’s Pravda, advertising their new 318i. The vacuum-cleaner-powered version of the 3-series is now on sale in Singapore for only - only! - $157,000.

That money in America would buy you a brand-new Audi R8. Or if you went used, you could have your pick of two-year-old supercars - Ferraris, Lambos, 911 Turbos, Astons, AMG Mercs, the lot.

The inescapable conclusion is that Singapore hates anything that’s fun.