"...about as exciting as Tuesday."

This week, Jeremy Clarkson excoriates the new Subaru Impreza WRX STi. One of the funnier funny bits:

I’ll let you into a little secret. Each week, when Top Gear is on air, we prepare two scripts. One is a polysyllabic orgy of complex thoughts on the meaning of human happiness. And the other is full of words such as “tits” and “arse”. Choosing which one eventually gets used depends on how many audience members turn up in Subaru Imprezas.