Canon has announced two new God Lenses. Here’s the biggest one.

(Picture from RobGalbraith.com)

The 1200mm f/5.6L Imitation Rocket Launcher (previously seen on JRE) is regrettably out of production. Has been for years. But here’s the next best thing… an 800mm f/5.6L with image stabiliser. (It might seem useless when you’re never going to hand-hold the lens - but Canon IS has a panning mode, where it can stabilise the image vertically and allow you to pan horizontally, so you can stabilise shots of, say, fast-moving F1 cars.)

Also on sale, the spiritual successor to the Eye of Sauron, the legendary, out-of-production, only-available-from-a-mysterious-seller-in-Korea 200mm f/1.8L: a 200mm f/2.0L, also with IS. This will probably become a lens of choice for indoor sports and music photographers who rely on available light - and wedding photographers with extremely strong arms.

No price listed, but if you have to ask, you probably can’t afford it.

Side note: Down the bottom, one of the subtitles notes that the Food and Drug Administration hasn’t been notified about these lenses, so they can’t yet legally be sold in the USA. Why does the FDA have to be notified? Are they worried that people will grind up a camera lens and use it to treat their sciatica?