I TOLD YOU I WAS KIM JONG ILL, blared KCNA right on the dot of midday Korea time, sending equities into a tailspin and USDKRW through the roof. The beloved star of comedies such as South Park, 30 Rock and Saturday Night Live was said to have died from cognac poisoning lobster overdose being crushed by a stack of counterfeit $100 bills looking at things physical and mental overwork. Matt Stone and Trey Parker, who directed Mr. Kim in his silver-screen debut in Team America: World Police, were unavailable for comment.
But if you’re distraught and weeping at the demise of the Kim Jong-il Looking At Things tumblr, don’t be! Just like spring follows winter, so emerges the official Kim Jong-un Looking At Things tumblr for all your North-Korean-despots-looking-at-things needs.