Next on the list: spot FX

In the wake of Germany’s financial regulator BaFin abruptly banning naked shorting of stocks and eurozone govvies last night, here’s some more breaking news from a not-so-alternate universe…

BREAKING NEWS: German financial regulator BaFin has announced a ban on selling shorts, saying that “nobody wants to see traders wearing shorts anyway”… DEVELOPING…

BREAKING NEWS: German financial regulator BaFin has announced a ban on short-selling shares by the seashore, saying that “rogue speculators like Peter Piper and the pheasant plucker’s mate are destroying Europe’s capital markets like a woodchuck chucking wood”… DEVELOPING …

BREAKING NEWS: German financial regulator BaFin has announced a ban on short-sheeting, saying that “someone short-sheeted my bed last night! And it wasn’t funny!” … DEVELOPING …

BREAKING NEWS: German financial regulator BaFin has announced a ban on short films, saying that “these pernicious films might encourage young viewers to go out and become short sellers” … DEVELOPING …

BREAKING NEWS: German financial regulator BaFin has announced a ban on short CDS positions, saying that “we must stop these evil speculators from speculating with their speculatory speculations”… they later retracted the ban, saying “no really, we meant to ban long CDS positions, we know what we’re doing, really we swear”… DEVELOPING…

BREAKING NEWS: German financial regulator BaFin has announced a ban on short CDs, saying that “if you pay twenty euros for a CD, then you should get the full 70 minutes of music, and we’re going to take action because this is a serious problem that’s worthy of our attention”… DEVELOPING …

BREAKING NEWS: German financial regulator BaFin has announced a ban on US television network CBS, saying that “they’ve only got Survivor anyway, nobody’s going to miss them” … DEVELOPING…

BREAKING NEWS: German financial regulator BaFin has announced a ban on Paris’s Charles de Gaulle airport, saying that “we meant to ban CDS, not CDG, but who cares, we’re all high as a kite right now, hey has anyone got any Doritos?” … DEVELOPING …

This entry was posted in Money. Bookmark the permalink.