That little unpleasantness with Google

So China has finally broken its silence on that little unpleasantness with Google, and boy oh boy is it a proper old-time Orwellian commie masterpiece. Here’s an annotated version of the comments released yesterday by the head of China’s Ministry of Truth – sorry, the State Council Information Office:

10:16 14Jan10 RTRS-PORNOGRAPHY, CYBER-ATTACKS, FRAUD ARE MAIN THREATS TO INTERNET SECURITY-CHINA CABINET SPOKESMAN

“Oh crap, they caught us. How do we spin this?”

10:16 14Jan10 RTRS-CHINA CABINET SPOKESMAN SAYS GOVT MUST PLAY ROLE IN ‘GUIDING’ OPINION ON INTERNET

“We are scared of the internet and scared of freedom of expression.”

10:18 14Jan10 RTRS-RPT-CHINA SAYS INTERNET MEDIA HAVE ‘MAJOR RESPONSIBILITY’ TO COOPERATE WITH GOVT TO SHAPE OPINIONS

“We will tell you what to write.”   

10:19 14Jan10 RTRS-CHINA SAYS RUMOURS AND FALSE INFORMATION ON INTERNET ARE THREAT TO SOCIETY

“Did we say ‘a threat to society’? We meant ‘a threat to our jobs’.”

10:20 14Jan10 RTRS-CHINA SAYS MAJOR NEWS WEBSITES MUST EXERCISE OVERSIGHT OF CONTENT

“Because if they don’t censor themselves, we’ll do it for them.”

10:20 14Jan10 RTRS-CHINA SAYS WILLING TO STRENGTHEN INTERNATIONAL COOPERATION ON INTERNET SECURITY
10:21 14Jan10 RTRS-CHINA SAYS COUNTRIES MUST PREVENT THEIR INTERNET PROBLEMS FROM AFFECTING OTHER COUNTRIES

In other news, two more companies have stepped forward and said they’ve been targeted by Chinese hacker attacks: Adobe, and a law firm representing a company that’s suing the Chinese government for code theft.

10:21 14Jan10 RTRS-CHINA COMMENTS ON INTERNET AVOID DIRECT MENTION OF GOOGLE

“We are pissweak.”

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