Freddie Mercury predicted Bear Stearns’s collapse?

Steve [Cohen] walks warily down the street

With his brim pulled way down low…

There’s a long and probing article in this month’s Vanity Fair (I know, I know, but stay with me here) chronicling the demise of Bear Stearns.

Are you ready? Are you ready for this? Are you hangin’ on the edge of your seat?

It points the finger squarely at a shadowy cabal of hedge-fund managers, naming Stevie A. Cohen of SAC Capital and Ken Griffin of Citadel as likely conspirators. The article then spins a shadowy tale of celebratory breakfasts and followup plotting against Lehman Brothers.

(doof doof doof)… Another one bites the dust… (doof doof doof)… Another one bites the dust…

The Dealbreaker blog calls bullshit on the whole thing. Pull quote:

When you off someone, you go to a safe house, lay low and count your money. You don’t run into the nearest bar with blood on your hands, wave the murder weapon around and go, hey everyone, look what I just did! Drinks for the house, put it on Bear Stearns!

They’ve got a point. The VF article is starting to look pretty thinly sourced…

Are you happy? Are you satisfied? How long can you stand the heat?

Out of the doorway the bullets rip

To the sound of the beat

The only suggestion more plausible than VF’s speculation about shadowy Citadel-and-SAC-and-co conspiracies is this. Look at the lyrics of Another One Bites The Dust. There’s a reference right there, up the top, to Stevie Cohen himself.

The only possible conclusion: in 1980, when they wrote the song, Queen were in possession of material non-public information about the upcoming bear raid on Bear Stearns. Where the hell are the SEC and the CFTC? They should be all over this!

Ed note: before any picky readers complain, Freddie Mercury did not write Queen’s smash hit Another One Bites The Dust. The song (and its 28-years-too-early narrative of Bear’s demise) was in fact written by the band’s bassist, John Deacon.

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