Captain Planet is buying a Bugatti Veyron

Here comes the coldening – last year, worldwide average temperatures dropped by nearly two-thirds of a degree Celsius. Smug Prius drivers like these people are going to cause glaciers to advance, crop-growing areas to retreat, and the deaths of tens of thousands of people worldwide every year from cold.

But don’t worry – there’s a way you can help.

Here’s a list of the least fuel-efficient cars on sale today; JRE encourages you to fight global cooling by buying a Mercedes CL65 AMG. With one thousand Nm of torque, and 450kW (612hp) of power at 4800RPM, you’ll be able to dump tonnes of carbon dioxide into the air, smoke your tyres until they disintegrate, and save the world from the ice age that might otherwise engulf us.

(Since you asked, it does the 0-100 sprint in four-and-a-half seconds, and there’s a little electronic Ken Livingstone in the engine bay that limits the top speed to 250km/h.)

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